I'm a Jerk.

We were on our way to the airport. I can't remember why she was riding with me and not her folks. LAX is the #1 gateway to the Asia Pacific and is served by over 90 passenger or cargo airlines. She would be boarding a Japanese Airlines 747 headed to Tokyo before connecting to Jakarta in the morning. The whole decision for her to go was kind of weird, but finding God's will is never an easy thing. Helping missionary children in a foreign country sounds like something HE would be for. That had been one of the struggles as we dreamed together; I wanted to serve youth and church planters at American churches and she had this "heart for missions". Besides all the other reasons people are hesitant to get married ( family, finances, fear); there was this tension in wanting the other person to be used by God in the ways that HE had uniquely planned for each of us. We had been together for 5 years. She was a freshman, when we started "going out". High School Sweet Hearts seemed like an understatement. Neither of us had dated anyone else during our post adolescent lives. Now we were going to be on separate continents for the next five months. We were on the 105, just minutes from the airport and I said; "I think we should put things on hold while you're away. Maybe we should date other people". This made so much sense at the moment, but in hind set I think it was the dumbest thing I've ever said in my life!

She did not meet any Indo boys to run away with and marry (true love could have happened despite a massive language barrier). She did not meet some much more godly missionary dude who would be better for her than me ( probably because the only "missionary dude" there was married and the father of the kids she would serve). It seems silly but I actually thought one of these things might have happened.

I asked three girls to spend time with me as "just friends". One told me no and the other two drove me crazy! It was about six weeks before I sold my soul to AT&T long distance and became an AOL IM freak. She came home in June to see her sister graduate, was confused about that whole missions calling thing, and was more in love with me than when she left. I was so happy to have her back in good ol' North America, and knew that she was "the one".

We were married the next fall; September 23, 2000. That's the day my life changed. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. She is beautiful, smart, and has a christ-like compassion for others that keeps me on track. It has been an amazing ride. '02 brought kiddo #1, barely. '04 brought kiddo #2, my first girl. '06 brought kiddo #3, my baby. '07 brought the procedure that says this is enough. We are looking forward to other "new life" and "births" into our journey and have become acutely aware of the even year pattern. We might have '08 figured out, but I'm still dreaming about '10. Did I just say '10? I met my life in the 80's. Back when TMNT was live action and Transformers were still on the small screen. We survived the 90's together, and have spent most of the new millennium married. She has been a part of my life longer then she wasn't, and I hate being apart from her. She is the best!

One word of advice for my non-married readers. On your way to drop your girl off at the airport, is the WRONG time to say, "let's date other people."

Doing what I love

Just in case I start getting concerned calls from my previous post... The "Holy Sweat" Trip was fantastic. The students did wonderful. We touched the lives of about 40 unique children over four nights and helped families connect with a wonderful church, South Bay Christian Fellowship. We passed out nearly 1,000 fliers in a community with a population of about 14,000. I saw first hand some of the challenges of ministering in a small coastal community but only 14,000? It gives some hope to the "Let's see the whole city saved" kind of vision casting. It was very refreshing though to hear Pastor Dan's heart and know that this body is all about building big people, not neccesarily a big church. I got to lead and watch six high school students introduce Jesus to little kids and be divine encouragement to an 86 year old lady. I saw these six diverse and unique individuals become a team and begin actually being the church. We shared many meals together, got to hang with sea otters in the bay, prayed together under a pygmy oak tree, and saw some crazy things from the windows of a '75 Crown bus. This is discipleship how I like it.

My wife is my hero! Again and Again and Again. When I feel like I'm getting old, maybe burnt out, and grumpy she is always there, hearing His voice, being an advocate for students, and seeing the need in ways that I either can't or just don't. Oh yeah, my kids are the best! And that is why I hauled three goldfish (prizes from the kids extravaganza) 300 miles in plastic bags they were in for 30 hours. I can't believe they are still alive! But they are. They are eating beta food in a bowl on my kitchen counter.

Where's the Rock?

This morning I'm in Los Osos, CA. Our high school missions team is doing well as we minister to families, kids, and our church plant here. We spent the morning praying in the "Elfin Forest" for the surrounding communities of Morro Bay, Los Osos, and San Luis Obispo. Our traditional means of going door to door and delievering about 700 flier invites have been met with mixed results. We contiue to pray that God would bring unchurched families that could connect through the Kids Extravaganza we are presenting. The team is also doing some good old fashioned weed pulling as we convert a weed feild into a sport's play area. All the soil here is like sand. It's wierd. We will finish the volleyball court today and maybe plant a tree that will leave a permanent mark of not only us being here but what God is doing in the lives of our team members. Yesterday while doing said weed pulling one of the guys got something in his eye and even after much rinsing and washing it was red red red. He was starting to have trouble seeing, was having tremendous pain, and wasn't sure he'd be able to play drums, play his part in the skit, or wear his puppet mask. We prayed and by "showtime" he was healed. If you are the praying type... please pray with me that our time here would be effective, and that we would be a blessing, pray that some of those unchurched kids might come hang out with us.

Preaching...Again

Pastor Dan at South Bay Christian Fellowship asked our team to take the whole service Sunday Morning before we start our Kids Extravaganza. Very flattering but probably more than our team is ready to handle. The students are going to do a skit, and Topherspoon will be running his smack. We will sit back and enjoy their community for the rest of worship.

The cool thing about being a guest is you can reuse old material. I'm praying about the possibilities of using the "Blvd of Broken Dreams" sermon, re-packaging the "Less is More" sermon, or finishing a "Disciples of Jesus are Big Tippers" sermon I've started based on Matthew Chapter 10 and 11.

I'm also praying our T-Shirts arrive tomorrow. I just ordered them last week. They shipped Tuesday and I'm trusting USPS will drop them off tomorrow. I am continually amazed at how small the world is becoming. My boy Jason from TeamScreen is my very best T-Shirt printer even though he's based on the opposite coast. Amazing.

Pray for an awesome week of ministry. I will try to update TTSM if I can.

Death by Suburbia?

My brother hates suburbia. Super Target, Applebees, and Krispy Kreme would not be high on his list of what is needed where he wants to live. I actually kinda like these retail establishments, but my bro and I have had some great discussions about the "toxicity" of suburbia, the felt safety that seems to stealing life out of the very beings of our friends, family, and society.

I was at a birthday party last night and the five year old birthday boy got a really awesome skate board from his parents. The sweet old lady (who I love dearly), sitting right behind me, shouts, "Where's the helmet? He'll likely kill himself". I remember riding in the back of a van pre-seat-belt-law days (oh the good ol days). I remember going down scalding hot aluminum slides and hanging on monkey bars that had gravel under them. I remember when only the geeks wore helmets and Nintendo didn't exist. In a sorta old guy skepticism I have a hard time believing anyone is safer. In fact, I could pose some pretty good arguments to why our kids are not better off!

I see a trend among young families getting out of suburbia and purposefully moving to smaller spaces in more urban areas... places where their kids might be less safe but you can walk to get a gallon of milk... Places where art, music, and diversity are a little more accessible.

There are quite a few books recently published that deal with how suburbia is affecting our lives, and even our perceptions of Jesus. One is by David Goetze , who was recently interviewed by Cutting Edge magazine. Here are some excerpts that spoke to me.

"the journey is one of simultaneously becoming distant from our culture, and at the same time deeply belonging to it in order to serve it"

"the answer is not to leave the suburbs but to stay and figure it out, and find Jesus there"

"so the thicker life in my thinking means a life filled with joy, that embraces suffering, that exhibits the fruits of the Spirit"

I think I may be called to be a suburban missionary. Is it possible to live a missional life in suburban culture? Any Thoughts?

"How do you say that...Rwanda?"

Today was "Dodgeball for Rwanda". I know my last post took on a bit of a negative connotation. So, I would like to ignore the challenges of "Dodgeball for Rwanda" and share some of the positive sucesses of today!

We had over 30 students hanging out at our church today, throwing balls at each other to raise money and awareness for World Vision and the AIDS crisis in Africa. I know of at least five different churches that were represented from two different cities. Thanks to everybody who helped promote the event.

The best part of the day was when a student from Bridges showed up and said, "I wanna play. Yeah, this is cool! Dodgeball for... how do you say that...Rwanda". "yeah, that's it!" His buddy says. Small steps are good. Perhaps knowing how to say "Rwanda" is an important step in learning how to love Rwanda. May it be so!

More than Missions Minded

Recently, through the acts29 network, and also through a good friend of mine, I've stumbled upon the writings of a reformed, church planter, who seems to be contributing a valuable perspective into this "emerging" conversation we find ourselves in. His name is TIM (to those who went looking for John, I apologize) Keller. In his article "The Missional Church", he identifies five key elements found in a missional church. I thought they were worth displaying here...

1. Discourse the Vernacular.

2. Enter and Retell the culture's stories, with the Gospel.

3. Theologically train lay people for public life and vocation.

4. Create Christian Community which is counter-cultural and counter-intuitive.

5. Practice Christian Unity as much as possible on the local level.

Any thoughts?

7 in 1... Go

No posts for over a week. Again, not because my head is not swirling with thoughts, dreams, and frustrations, just a lack of time. Let's try the 7 in 1 once again.

1. For two months now, I've made posts, and none of them really address these "things that shouldn't matter". For that I'm sorry. The other thing I have not addressed, is the one who really does matter most in my life... after Jesus of course. For that, I am also sorry and I just wanted to take a moment and share with the world (all six of you reading this) that I LOVE MY WIFE! I thank God for her everyday. She truely is God's perfect gift for me. I am her adoring husband till death due us part! She gets me through each day and I'm happy to have her walking alongside me in the journey.
Why is it that because my name has the word Pastor in front of it, she gets treated different? People do things to her (put her on the spot, publically critize her, and carry unreal expectations) that would be seen as terribly rude if done to anyone else. Yet, they don't seem to think twice about doing them to my wife. God has given my wife thick skin and broad shoulders and she has an amazing ability to walk through these moments with tact and grace, but it really frustrates me! Any thoughts? Helpful suggestions?

2. Ups and downs of weight loss. Tuesday was the first day that I was able to use the scale within it's normal mechanical limits. It read under 0! This is fantastic because that 0 represents 3 0 0 and this has been a mini plauteau for me. Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me in this and made my accomplishments seem monumental. Yesterday I had a meeting with my Metlife guy, and asked him what the magic weight number was to get affordable term life insurance through a non group policy for a non smoker with the height of 5'10. He's going to get back to me but he's pretty sure its 190lb. Quite the humbling experience. Perhaps by 2010 I'll fit into their tidy little boxes and graphs!

3. The Mystery of "contextulization"... it's missions month at my church. Which means terms like "contextulization", "UPG", "pledge", and "light" have been a little bit over used lately. In hearing our missionaries (the vocational ones, our church suppourts). I have been overwhelmed by the fact that we should all be doing "contextual" work and also the need to recognize that we are first citizens of "His Kingdom" and being Americans should come second. See #7.

4. Reading Peter Rollins for book club... This book is kicking my butt in a good way. This is the first book since Bible College that I've read with a highlighter and pen in hand. In the emergent conversations I've always thought of myself as a "park" kind of guy. (A metaphor I borrowed from Len Sweet, which describes those who fold fast to "old" theology and message, while embracing new methods and mediums for practicing them). I become very uncomfortable with terms like "a/theology", however, Rollins book is wonderful. Makes my head hurt... in a wonderful way. The second half is more practical, but not any easier; some fairly radical ideas on loving and serving others. It makes me wish they didn't seem so "radical" to me. See #7

5. I now live in Rancho Belago. I'm not sure I've spelled that correctly, but apparently the Moreno Valley City Council has renamed the entire 92555 as a way to improve our city's image. Maybe they could find a way to prevent people from shooting each other? You folks in "Orangecrest" got nothing on me, baby!

6. Today my baby climbed stairs! She will be one next month, and I'm so happy to be her Dad!

7. Here's the big one... #7. I often find myself in this tension of being or doing, being or doing. Honestly I'm usually about doing, doing, doing. In fact, sadly enough, taking time to process and record these thoughts here is one of the few ways I find myself "being". Recently I've been wrestling with a new verb. GO!
I want to be going. Going new places with my wife. Going closer to 190lbs. Going to those who need Jesus. Going outside my comfort zone. Going to healthy safe communities. Going to new heights! Going! Going! Going!
May I enjoy the "going" even more, beacuse I've taken time to yeild, and to rest.